Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Learning how to Breathe

My parents are crazy and have no idea what they are doing
Look Daddy, my forearms are bigger than yours. Wanna arm wrestle?

Once again, It's been way too long since my last post, but who's really reading this mindless jabbering anyway. So... a helluva a lot has happened since my last post. Life evolves, as it should.
The big news is that Jack Muir, my son, was born a little after midnight with a full moon hanging in the Autumn night sky. Every day since his birth has been a blessing. The realization that I'm a dad never really hit me like I expected it would, instead it has been slowly creeping up on me and invading my senses, my conscience, my reality.
Just now am I coming to grips with the fact that having a family takes work and commitment. It's not just my life anymore, but rather, our life and that means rearranging my time, and my needs, and my wishes to suit the family. I'm still working on this time management thing and by no means have I even begun to figure it out, but one thing I know for certain is that in order to fit in my personal pursuits I'm going to need to squeak as much out of each day as possible. I've started tossing around the idea of forgoing my "morning time" (basically sitting in front of the computer drinking coffee and eating breakfast trying to come to terms with the fact that I have to go to work AGAIN today) in order to get a quick 30 minute workout in before work. Crazy huh? Possibly so, but I'm going to give it a try and see if I can commit and get it done. Routine is not one of my strong points but maybe at the ripe (and crusty) age of 32 it will begin to work for me.
Besides Jack entering our lives and continuing to shape it on a daily basis, the other big news is that I'm climbing again (albeit not nearly enough) and at a pretty respectable level. I honestly thought I'd never climb like I used to after my accident, not even close to it. But since June I've been steadily climbing a few times a month and have been able to climb hard 5.12 again, although not on a regular basis. Consistency is the big problem, but as Tracy continues to remind me, our life has tossed and turned around and reformed in something new and consistency is very hard to achieve under these circumstances. She is right of course, but still something inside me, always feels like I'm losing my game, as I soften up. Who knows, and what does it really matter really. One thing I'm grateful for and certain of is that given the time and dedication I can climb harder than I was before the accident. I just need to learn how to breathe.